438 How to Get a Date
Mike asks about asking a woman on a date.
Mike: OK, so for those of us listening who are not familiar with dating in the US, practices are different, Mark, how would you go about getting a date with somebody in the US?
Mark: Ah, well, I, that's a difficult question because you know I don't always succeed with that, but I guess usually you like a girl. You begin talking to her and find some things in common with her and, I don't know, if you feel like she likes you and you like her then you ask her out.
Mike: OK, what would you say? "Do you feel like going out this evening?" or "What are your plans?" or "Are you busy?"
Mark: Well,those, all of those ways are so typical. Their so usual, so I don't use those, I don't say those things because I feel like it's just too common, so I think women, or girls, usually respond better if you're very direct, so I say something more like, um "So which is better for you, Friday night or Saturday night?"
Mike: OK, and they resond with a slaped face, or no? Then, what do they say to you?
Mark: You'd be surprised. Usually, it's, um, some good responses. I mean if the person doesn't like you then maybe they give you an excuse, "Oh, I'm busy Friday
and I'm busy Saturday." Well, that's OK. Then you know, that that person doesn't like you (right) but, um, but usually that direct question, it, the girl or the woman is often surprised that you're so direct so she laughs and she tells you an answer, "I'm free Friday." So you get a good response many times with direct questioning like that.
Mike: OK, and what would you do then on your, on a date? Would you say, "Great, let's go bowling!" or?
Mark: I would set a time and again, I think it's not so important, what you do, as it is important to, to just make a decision and to do it, so some girls might not like bowling but if you pick her up on a date and you say, "Hey, we're going bowling tonight." If she really doesn't like bowling, she will tell you but usually if she doesn't mind bowling then she's happy that you made the choice. That's better than asking her, "So, what do you want to do tonight?"
Mike: I guess especially if you're the one spending the money for it then.
Mark: That's a good point. Yes. Absolutely.
Mike: It'll work out well for both. Well, thanks a lot, Mark.That's great.
Mark: You're welcome.
For those of us who are not familiar with dating in the US,
practices are different.
When you are 'familiar with' something you have experience with it or you understand it. Notice the following:
- I'm not familiar with most of the things on this menu.
- Are you familiar with merengue music?
go about or getting a date
How would you go about getting a date with somebody?
When you 'get a date' it means that someone agrees to have a romantic appointment with you. We can also use 'get a date' when we are referring to finding someone to go with us to something like a wedding or a party. When you ask some one how to 'go about' doing something you are asking for his advice on how to successfully do something. Notice the following:
- I don't know if I'll have any luck getting a date for
- How do you go about getting your computer fixed here?
ask her out
If you feel she like you and you like her, then you ask her
When you 'ask someone out' you are asking her to go on a date with you or to go somewhere with you romantically. Notice the following:
- If you like him so much why don't you ask him out?
- It took him three months to get the courage to ask her
Well, all of those ways are so typical, so I don't use
This that are 'typical' are common or normal. Typical actions are things that many people do. Notice the following:
- What is a typical lunch here?
- This is a typical night here with everyone just hanging
out and watching television.
You get a good response many times with direct questioning
A 'direct questioning' is when you ask the question that you really want to know the answer to without asking many stupid or unnecessary questions. Notice the following:
- I think if you want to know the real truth you need to
use direct questioning to get your answers.
- The police do a lot of direct questioning to try to get
the information they want.
What things do you do then on a date?
A 'date' is a romantic appointment with someone. Common things to do on a date are going to a restaurant for dinner or seeing a movie at the cinema. Notice the following:
- Many people go to the park at the end of their dates.
- Our first date was so bad that I almost didn't go out
with him again.