622 Soul mates
Lucinda talks about her boyfriend and having a cross-cultural relationship.
Todd: So, Lucinda, I met your boyfriend, Kwame, he's a nice guy.
Lucinda: Yeah, he is.
Todd: How long have you two been going out?
Lucinda: Oh, gosh, I think around about two years, two, or two and a half years.
Todd: Wow, that's a pretty long relationship.
Lucinda: Yeah, it is.
Todd: So how did you meet?
Lucinda: We met through the school. I can't actually remember the first day we met because being students we kind of meet people and stuff like that but we spent some time together at a party and a friend's birthday party.
Todd: Oh, OK, now you come from two completely different cultures.
Lucinda: Yeah we do.
Todd: Can you talk a little about that?
Lucinda: Well, Kwame's from Ghana and I'm from New Zealand. Ghana is in West Africa, and, gosh, they're very different. I've never been to Ghana but Kwame came to New Zealand and we basically come from one of the two most different cultures you can probably imagine, but being in Japan, I think, when we met in Japan and we were in the same culture so it's not like he was visiting New Zealand or I was visiting Ghana because there was not real culture shock or we've kind of assimilated to each other's cultures very much so in our own relationship we're pretty much no cultural problems or anything like that, (right) yeah.
Todd: Yeah, I think it's easiear cause you're in a neutral culture.
Lucinda: Yeah, Yeah.
Todd: Well, what are some things that you have in common?
Lucinda: Ah, things we have in common? We both like watching TV. Kwame likes watching TV a bit more than I do. We both like basketball and soccer. But Kwame's very passionate about that and I can watch for ten minutes.
Todd: So, do you watch the NBA?
Lucinda: Ah, NBA, yes, yes.
Todd: Do you both support the same team?
Lucinda: I support players. (Oh, I see) I'm not really a team person but, but Kwame supports teams but I'm very passionate about the players because we also play this Playstation game. NBA LIVE! and any player that's on the Playstation game, I kind of have this bond with and I get really mad someone else take's the ball from him or something. I get passionate that way but Kwame does like his certain teams.
Todd: OK, well, how about, what do you guys, what's different about you? Like do you have different personalities or anything like that?
Lucinda: Yeah, we have very different, I think we have the exact opposite for personalities. Kwame is very quiet and he's very reserved in his opinions for certain things. He won't say whether he really likes something or if he dislikes something, whereas I'm very opinionated and I like to have my say over everything so I talk a lot and I, even if it's on what type of soap we use, I have a very strong opinion on what it should be and, yeah.
Todd: Yeah, well, he's a great guy, so. You guys make a cute couple.
We have 'assimilated' to each other's cultures in our
relationship, so it's not a problem.
When you 'assimilate' to a different culture, you change the way that you do things in your own culture to incorporate parts of a different culture. Notice the following:
- You can't expect that you will assimilate immediately.
It is something that takes time.
- Although Peruvian culture is very different from her
how, it didn't take her long to assimilate to her new
Japan was a like a neutral culture, because that's where we
met so we lived in the same culture.
Here, 'neutral' just refers to the fact that neither Lucinda nor Kwame is from Japan, so neither of them is more comfortable in Japan than the other. Notice the following:
- I would prefer to talk to you about all of this in a
more neutral setting than your house.
- Sweden is a very neutral country.
He likes basketball and is very passionate about that.
Something you are 'passionate about' is something you are very interested in. Notice the following:
- After he found out he was moving to Spain, he became
very passionate about learning Spanish.
- She is extremely passionate about her writing.
have a bond with
When I play the PlayStation game, I feel like I have this
bond with the player in that game.
If you 'have a bond with' someone, you have a connection to them or something in common that brings you closer. Notice the following:
- I feel like I have a special bond with the character in
- They had a bond from the first time they met.
He is very quiet and he's very reserved in his opinions for
Used like this, reserved refers to someone who does not share his own ideas or act in a way that makes people focus attention on him. Notice the following:
- I am usually very reserved the first time I meet people.
- Since they broke up, he has become a lot more reserved.